How your money mindset is shaping your entire life, and what to do when your negative self-talk is taking controlling your wallet!
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You have a carefully cultivated money mindset, whether you knew it or not you do. Is it helping you or sabotaging you at every turn?
I get it. “money” is basically a four-letter word in your household. You hesitate to think about it, you shy away from reading about it, and you certainly don’t talk about with your spouse or your kids.
Because when you have to talk about it, you get a knot in your stomach as you feel that there isn’t enough money for everything. You get scared, and it shows up as being defensive, angry or even resentful. Maybe you are mad at your spouse for the new golf clubs, or you may feel deflated, as your oldest needs braces. You are angry at yourself. “Damn, how did I get in this situation?”
Worse yet, you may feel hopeless.
Have you ever thought that maybe you are your own worst enemy? Let’s break it down and show you how to kick that bad attitude to the curb and start to win with your money by identifying your money mindset.
What is a Money Mindset?
A person’s money mindset is their overarching attitude and belief about money in their life. It influences almost every spending/saving decision that you make, and it does this automatically, just under the surface of your consciousness.
As the Henry Ford quote goes:
If you want to win with money, you first have to make sure that your money mindset is setting you up for success!
The Two Main Types of Money Mindsets
In the above example, where they were angry and fearful, that is what the pros call a scarcity money mindset. You never have enough money, and you will NEVER have enough money! Maybe you even think you don’t deserve it, and perhaps you believe you are trapped in a situation, or that you’re doomed never to get ahead. You are always being held back or dealt the poo poo end of the stick. (Yes, poo poo is a legit term in my household right now.)
Scarcity money mindset
“Dang, $140 for new glasses for my kiddo, there goes my budget. It doesn’t really matter if I spend another $32 on a new shirt.”
So you spend the extra $32, not realizing that you were already doomed from the beginning. Because no matter what happened that day, you were going to think and feel negatively about purchases and push yourself deeper into a hole. This is what you have always done to yourself, so this is what you will continue to do. Until now!
Abundance money mindset
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the abundance money mindset. Where you feel that you will always have “enough”. Yes, you know that there may be small setbacks or unexpected blips, but in the end, you know deep down that it will all work out okay. Not because of divine intervention, but because you will tweak your budget and adjust as needs be! YOU can and will do it! (damn straight!)
So you spend the $140 for new glasses and you think “okay, that wasn’t planned, but I’ve been able to put extra aside these past few months because it’s spring and we haven’t needed to turn the heat or a/c on. So it’s okay.” You have a money mindset of abundance!
Same person, same expense, but a different money mindset = a new outcome, with less stress, depression or negative thoughts. Oh, and you saved that $32 because you didn’t buy that shirt. Since you didn’t buy it you also saved yourself from feeling bad about that too!
Yes, there are other less extreme money mindsets (such as “I’ll just ignore the problem”, or the “I deserve it” attitude, etc.) but they are in the middle along the scale.
How to change your money mindset.
1. Recognize the need to change
Now you don’t need to do it all in one day, but you need to make the first step today. Tomorrow you take one more and then so on and on. Just keep going! When you take control and say enough is enough you are fired up and ready to change. You can’t be medium fired up. You need to have your game face on and have the snacks packed and ready to go!
2. Make a plan and write it down
An article in the Huffington Post cites research from Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor who was working on the science of goal setting. She had a test group of over 250 people and broke them into two groups: those that wrote their goals down and those that didn’t. In the end, she found that you become 42% more likely to achieve your goals by just writing them down on a regular basis. (source)
Decide what you need to do, be very specific on things (in fact using the SMART method for goal setting is a great idea to be sure that you are detailed enough), and then get to work!
3. Practice the Law of Attraction
You’d be surprised at how many times people make plans and then immediately forget about it. Cue: “I will eat better” then 10 minutes later “Oh, is that a cookie sample” at the grocery store. NOM NOM NOM.
You will write out your plan and even better, write positive money affirmations and post them where you can see it daily. Like a post-it note on your bathroom mirror, or on your car dashboard (please don’t cover up your speedometer). Or make it a habit that every night right after you brush your teeth that you look at your monthly budget plan. It can be just for two minutes, but you need to visually see your goal to achieve it! This is bringing in the law of attraction! Which simply is the premise that we bring into our lives what we focus on! So focus on the positive!
Pro Tip for Law of Attraction
Learn to the power of positive affirmations! Yup, I want you to give yourself a pep talk, every morning, without fail.
Now I know you might be rolling your eyes, or thinking of how lame this is but go with me here. Many, MANY people swear by the power of positive affirmations — big names like Oprah, Denzel Washington, Tina Fey, and Serena Williams to name a few. When you tell yourself something often enough you start to believe it. The exact same principle as negative self-talk (we all know that’s bad), but in this case, we’re using it for us.
If you want to read more about the effect of positive affirmations go and read Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning. His book has changed peoples lives for the better. Seriously, CHANGED LIVES! I took away so many actionable steps from his book about how working more on the inside of myself can have a huge impact on my performance. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a work in progress, but I see, and better yet, I feel that things are changing for the better!
When I really want to remind myself about something I change my iPhone’s lock screen. Because let’s not kid ourselves you are picking up your phone about 657 times in one day (a totally fake stat but you get the idea). When you look at the same thing all the time you are slowly ingraining this image/phrase into your brain. Just like you start to know the lyrics of songs or the ingredients to your child’s favorite cookie recipe. Repetition is a powerful force (insert Jedi reference here if you wish).
Write a phrase down in your notes app on your phone, or if you’re crafty you can hand write it out beautifully and snap a picture of it. Remember to keep them positive! Go on to Pinterest and search for “money affirmations” you will find quite a few, and hopefully one will strike a chord with you. Using the Law of Attraction this way will definitely have an impact on your money mindset!
Examples of positively framed affirmations:
- I will happily spend money on planned purchases (vs. I will not splurge)
- Success, money, and happiness come easily to me (vs. I will not think about how we are always doomed to be living on the edge)
- I may stumble, but I will always get back up
- Say to yourself, I believe in my ability to succeed (this is one that I personally use)
- With hard work, I will reach my goals
You can also help turbo-charge your trajectory by reading up on You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth: Master the Mindset of Wealth by NY Times Bestselling author Jen Sincero. This is a very highly rated book that has inspired so many women from all walks of life to get out there and take control of their future.
In the end…
Changing your mindset about how you feel about money isn’t an overnight process. But I genuinely believe that it is the starting point part to improving your financial path.
Because when you fear something, it has power over you. When you have a plan, you have control over it.
This is one of the first steps in changing your money mindset and your financial future. It can also be the hardest, as you may really not believe that change is possible, or that the affirmations that you picked are too far out of your reach. It’s okay. Take a deep breath and say them to yourself anyways. Every day, say them. Soon you will feel a shift. I believe it, and soon you will too!
So remember at the beginning when we talked about money being a four-letter word? Let’s change it from “oh f&%K” to a f%^# YA!
So what will your positive money affirmation be? Let me know in the comments so I can cheer you on!
Pin it for later!
- The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
- You Are A Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Scincero
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